does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
