Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
