I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
