tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
