me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
