its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
