i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
