So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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