PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
