Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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