Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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