I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
