When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
