how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
