After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
