i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
