would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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