Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Randomize
