Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
