I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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