I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All the doctor said was why
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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