The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He felt like a one man threesome
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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