Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she woke up with a sticky ear
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
