There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
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