I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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