Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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