You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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