I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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