You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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