his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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