I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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