last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
my being single is dangerous.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
