you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize