i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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