Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize