marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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