How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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