It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well I just put wine in my tea
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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