I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
