I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
