Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
