Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
