Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
