Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
