What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize