I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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