I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
