I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
