I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
