how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
