I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
