i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
