chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
