I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If that was your dad, he is hot
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize