But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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