I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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