I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
