Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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