Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
