I must be too annoying 4 u.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
