Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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