Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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