Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
