i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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