My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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