thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
only you would photoshop your dick
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
