ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
