all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
