I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
