pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
