Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
