the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
