At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize