your parents love me but you hate me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
