Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
nutella sex= disaster
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
