so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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